Parodies of the Clark pilferers


THE “viral” case of the OFW who lost the contents of his balikbayan box and found his luggage with broken zippers at the Clark International Airport in December can be adapted into a movie in the comedy or parody genre.


Since there were six pilferers, all baggage handlers at the airport, the incident can be reenacted into a movie titled “The Dirty Half Dozen” with a poster of a tray of dozen eggs, six of which are rotten, to go with it. It can be a good parody of the 1967 American war film titled “The Dirty Dozen” with the movie ending in complete reversal of the latter as the pilferers end up going to prison instead of getting released.

The story of the pilfering porters can also be made into a heist movie like the 1960 film “Ocean’s 11” but spinned off to “Clark’s 6.” The plot is simple: the Clark 6 are bumbling baggage handlers for getting caught red-handed with Dubai-bought bath soaps and shampoos coming from the square treasure trove of a migrant.

The pilferage incident can be reproduced like the 2013 British movie “The Great Train Robbery” but retitled “The Great Balibayan Box Robbery”. The parody movie will follow the downfall of the train robbers in the UK movie after they were caught robbing 50 million pounds from a train. But instead of a train, the setting would be a plane landing at the Clark International Airport.

An alternative title and version for the “The Great Balibayan Box Robbery” is “The Fast and the Furious” with the Fast represented by the pilferers for pulling a fast one on the migrant and the Furious representing the victim after he blew his top in a mild manner upon seeing his balikbayan box empty. The airport manager also gets furious and fires them instantly.

The last parody movie version for the pilferage case is inspired by the 2002 Leonardo DiCaprio-starrer “Catch Me If You Can”. The plot is that the thieves dare the migrant to complain and the authorities to catch them, which they did. The ending: the thieves in the prison shower using the pasalubong soap and shampoo.